On Marriage: A Response
Darrin Garza wrote to the Mercedes E-List:
-----Original Message-----
Jason,
You are like many other people who are afraid of change. We are not looking to go further but to have the right to marry. This whole group marriage thing you brought up is an entirely different situation and does not have anything to do with same-sex marriage. It's just an excuse for people like you to add more to a situation than needs be. Gay people have always been around and we will always be around. I have friends who have been lovers for almost 20 years. That's many more
years than most "straight" people can handle these days. If you pass away, who gets your belongings? Your wife since she's married to you. Not your parents or other greedy family members. What happens today when a same-sex partner passes away? That partner has to prove what belongs to him or her and have to battle out in court from the passed partners family. Does this seem right? I don't think so. The same-sex marriage will help give the gay people the same rights as those who are allowed to marry today. Now I have mentioned this before. There are all kinds of people in this group. Each person has their right to believe anything they want and I'm all for that. I even accept the fact that you believe that there should not be same-sex marriages. It's a free country. But this is not a topic that should be in this group. This group should never have any topics that can offend any type of people.
--------------------
Darrin,
I'm going to take the time (even though it's nearly 1 a.m. here and I've been working since 6 a.m. yesterday) to answer your post. First, know that I write from a place of compassion, not condemnation. I hope that you will soon find the courage to leave the homosexual lifestyle before you contract a fatal disease. Homosexuals, after all, on average only live to the age of 39 or 40. Check out Exodus International.
Regardless of the pairs of homosexuals you anecdotally mention, normalization of homosexuality is still a bad idea for society--and what you mention (friends who have lived together for 20 years) is not the norm. Research has shown that it is not the norm for homosexuals to live in long-term monogamous situations. Please don't try to say otherwise, as I'm well versed in the research, the data, and I don't intend to let "happy myths" carry the day.
Regarding homosexual pairings as laudable is, in my opinion, selfish. Pairings do nothing to promote healthy behaviors for the individuals or children. We could just talk for a long time of the diseases that those practicing homosexuality (whether male or female) currently have, contract, and spread to others--and then discuss what giving carte-blanche health and hospital benefits to such a medically-needy group would do to our insurance rates that are already too high. However, what's more important to me is the effect on children. There are more than 10,000 studies that have been done showing that children are better off raised by two-parent heterosexual families. Maybe if it were just a couple of studies, you could suggest otherwise, but when it's that overwhelming, the data doesn't lie.
Second, I'll address your last point first. Why is it that when rational opposition to the promulgation and normalization of sodomy is brought up, that the standard response from homosexuals is, "That offends me. You shouldn't be allowed to do that."? That's what Canadians opposed to sodomy now legally face (up to two years in jail), and our own Congress is considering similar thought-control "hate crimes" legislation that would make it a crime to think that homosexuality is wrong.
I understand that truth can be painful sometimes, though what we "feel" about it is ancillary. You (and Matt Blitz) apparently suggest that we can believe whatever we want, or make a joke out of it, and "can't we all just get along?" Sure, we can get along, as long as you honestly take into consideration that society is under the rule of law--that laws and words have meaning, and that the "believe whatever you want" idea ends fast when you put it to the test. Try walking off a pier and
saying, "I don't believe in gravity."
If this were just about your family, there would be no real danger. But same-sex "marriage" advocates are not seeking marriage for you alone, but rather demanding all of us to radically change our understanding of family. And that will do great damage. Your same-sex family will teach my little girl and boys that husband/wife and mother/father are merely optional for the family and therefore, meaningless. That's not a lesson that my children need to be confused with.
Marriage is a common good, not a special interest or a civil right. Every society (regardless of religion or government) needs natural marriage to grow -- as many men as possible each finding a woman, caring for and committing himself exclusively to her -- working together to create and raise the next generation. No society needs homosexual pairing. In fact, too much of it would be harmful to society and that is why natural marriage and same-sex pairing cannot be considered socially
equal.
Pitirim Sorokin, the late eminent Harvard sociologist found that virtually all political revolutions that brought about societal collapse were preceded by a sexual revolution in which marriage and family were devalued. Guess what? Ours entered that stage about 30 or so years ago. Like I wrote this morning: current society is a mess. As a society, we need to take responsibility and band together and shore up marriage and family--not shoot holes in the dam.
So to answer your repost, Darrin, I'm not afraid of homosexuals (remember that you choose to do everything that you do, unless you're a robot).
I recall these important words from Woodrow Wilson: "Those that forget history are bound to repeat it." Darrin, I don't want to see America repeat the history of the 21 civilizations that Sorokin studied which embraced homosexual and other abnormal sexual relationships as normal shortly before their demise. "But that couldn't happen in America!" some might say. We're "enlightened," right? Yeah, and so were the Greeks, the Romans, Sodom and Gomorrah, and the others.
Know this: my wife and I are committed to each other for life and there will be no divorce in our home. How could we make such a statement? Simple. We believe it and we intend to make good on our promises. Our grandfathers knew what the word covenant meant. Maybe our generation should remember.
Finally, there are more important things at stake than who gets to inherit whatever is left of my estate when I pass away. What's at stake? The futures of Elayna, Benjamin, Isaiah, and our fourth child who is due in January. The future of our country.
-----Original Message-----
Jason,
You are like many other people who are afraid of change. We are not looking to go further but to have the right to marry. This whole group marriage thing you brought up is an entirely different situation and does not have anything to do with same-sex marriage. It's just an excuse for people like you to add more to a situation than needs be. Gay people have always been around and we will always be around. I have friends who have been lovers for almost 20 years. That's many more
years than most "straight" people can handle these days. If you pass away, who gets your belongings? Your wife since she's married to you. Not your parents or other greedy family members. What happens today when a same-sex partner passes away? That partner has to prove what belongs to him or her and have to battle out in court from the passed partners family. Does this seem right? I don't think so. The same-sex marriage will help give the gay people the same rights as those who are allowed to marry today. Now I have mentioned this before. There are all kinds of people in this group. Each person has their right to believe anything they want and I'm all for that. I even accept the fact that you believe that there should not be same-sex marriages. It's a free country. But this is not a topic that should be in this group. This group should never have any topics that can offend any type of people.
--------------------
Darrin,
I'm going to take the time (even though it's nearly 1 a.m. here and I've been working since 6 a.m. yesterday) to answer your post. First, know that I write from a place of compassion, not condemnation. I hope that you will soon find the courage to leave the homosexual lifestyle before you contract a fatal disease. Homosexuals, after all, on average only live to the age of 39 or 40. Check out Exodus International.
Regardless of the pairs of homosexuals you anecdotally mention, normalization of homosexuality is still a bad idea for society--and what you mention (friends who have lived together for 20 years) is not the norm. Research has shown that it is not the norm for homosexuals to live in long-term monogamous situations. Please don't try to say otherwise, as I'm well versed in the research, the data, and I don't intend to let "happy myths" carry the day.
Regarding homosexual pairings as laudable is, in my opinion, selfish. Pairings do nothing to promote healthy behaviors for the individuals or children. We could just talk for a long time of the diseases that those practicing homosexuality (whether male or female) currently have, contract, and spread to others--and then discuss what giving carte-blanche health and hospital benefits to such a medically-needy group would do to our insurance rates that are already too high. However, what's more important to me is the effect on children. There are more than 10,000 studies that have been done showing that children are better off raised by two-parent heterosexual families. Maybe if it were just a couple of studies, you could suggest otherwise, but when it's that overwhelming, the data doesn't lie.
Second, I'll address your last point first. Why is it that when rational opposition to the promulgation and normalization of sodomy is brought up, that the standard response from homosexuals is, "That offends me. You shouldn't be allowed to do that."? That's what Canadians opposed to sodomy now legally face (up to two years in jail), and our own Congress is considering similar thought-control "hate crimes" legislation that would make it a crime to think that homosexuality is wrong.
I understand that truth can be painful sometimes, though what we "feel" about it is ancillary. You (and Matt Blitz) apparently suggest that we can believe whatever we want, or make a joke out of it, and "can't we all just get along?" Sure, we can get along, as long as you honestly take into consideration that society is under the rule of law--that laws and words have meaning, and that the "believe whatever you want" idea ends fast when you put it to the test. Try walking off a pier and
saying, "I don't believe in gravity."
If this were just about your family, there would be no real danger. But same-sex "marriage" advocates are not seeking marriage for you alone, but rather demanding all of us to radically change our understanding of family. And that will do great damage. Your same-sex family will teach my little girl and boys that husband/wife and mother/father are merely optional for the family and therefore, meaningless. That's not a lesson that my children need to be confused with.
Marriage is a common good, not a special interest or a civil right. Every society (regardless of religion or government) needs natural marriage to grow -- as many men as possible each finding a woman, caring for and committing himself exclusively to her -- working together to create and raise the next generation. No society needs homosexual pairing. In fact, too much of it would be harmful to society and that is why natural marriage and same-sex pairing cannot be considered socially
equal.
Pitirim Sorokin, the late eminent Harvard sociologist found that virtually all political revolutions that brought about societal collapse were preceded by a sexual revolution in which marriage and family were devalued. Guess what? Ours entered that stage about 30 or so years ago. Like I wrote this morning: current society is a mess. As a society, we need to take responsibility and band together and shore up marriage and family--not shoot holes in the dam.
So to answer your repost, Darrin, I'm not afraid of homosexuals (remember that you choose to do everything that you do, unless you're a robot).
I recall these important words from Woodrow Wilson: "Those that forget history are bound to repeat it." Darrin, I don't want to see America repeat the history of the 21 civilizations that Sorokin studied which embraced homosexual and other abnormal sexual relationships as normal shortly before their demise. "But that couldn't happen in America!" some might say. We're "enlightened," right? Yeah, and so were the Greeks, the Romans, Sodom and Gomorrah, and the others.
Know this: my wife and I are committed to each other for life and there will be no divorce in our home. How could we make such a statement? Simple. We believe it and we intend to make good on our promises. Our grandfathers knew what the word covenant meant. Maybe our generation should remember.
Finally, there are more important things at stake than who gets to inherit whatever is left of my estate when I pass away. What's at stake? The futures of Elayna, Benjamin, Isaiah, and our fourth child who is due in January. The future of our country.
posted by Jason at 9/27/2004 11:21:00 PM
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