Never Wrestle with Pigs

Some funny folk wisdom:

"He could ruin the working parts of a brick."

"It's so dry the Baptists are sprinkling and the Methodists are using washcloths."

"I'm hungry enough to eat a cold oatmeal sandwich with hair in it."

"He was born on top of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."

"I'm as busy as a mosquito in a nudist colony."

"It's as scarce as a deviled egg after a church picnic."

I especially like these two, listed under "General truths":

Political Wisdom: "Never wrestle with pigs. They like it and you'll only get dirty."

"No matter how popular you are, the size of your funeral depends on the weather."